Thursday, March 10, 2011

Morning ritual

Okay, so my sister wrote a blog about doggie poop and it prompted me to share the morning ritual at my house.  It goes something like this.....  Alarm goes off and Moose, my 90# chocolate lab and Marley, my 80# cream lab realize that morning has come once again.  Ughhhhhh !!!  So I roll over and assume an optimum position so that I can rub both bellies at one time.  Depending on their location in "our" king size bed, it can be an awkward task.  About this time, the she kitty, Joey, decides it's time to join in on the festivities.  She prefers to just watch as opposed to being in the midst of the morning chaos.  Oh, did I mention that Moose and Marley were boys ?  Anywho, eventually I roll out of bed.  Moose prefers to just lay there for a bit as I go into my bathroom and take my morning meds.  Joey usually jumps up on the bathroom counter as I fix my meds (not that I take a whole bunch....just sayin') and Marley is underfoot.  I take the 3 bottles out and open the first one to use as a receptacle.  This open bottle has to go back into the medicine cabinet immediately because Joey has been known to knock over the bottle and I've had to scrounge around looking for cholesterol pills on the floor.  But now I've got her number and I've outsmarted her !  Then it's off to the kitchen.  I open the door and out goes Marley to "do his business."  I close the door so that Joey doesn't sneak out as she once did and was then missing for a month.  (This prompted psychic calls and house to house neighborhood searches but that's a story for another day.) 

If you're wondering what Moose is doing at this time, I can tell you what he's NOT doing.....he's not going out because he's afraid to go out and be left out !  He's a bit of a lazy indoor type of fellow !  I then fix the coffee pot.  By this time, Marley is waiting at the back door to be let in, he is 3 years old and has yet to figure out that he can scratch at the door or bark and he'll be let in....geez !!!  Now I feed the 2 doggies and Joey.  By the time they are done, the coffee is ready and I pour myself a cup.  Now, Moose is ready to go out so we all (except Joey) trek out to the patio where Moose takes care of business and they run and play.  Marley is a "fetching fool" and Moose just kind of hangs out like the lazy dog he loves to be.  If this doesn't sound like a big is !  You try drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette (my bad !), throwing a slimey toy repeatedly, check facebook, catch up on Words with Friends, and checking email at the same time !  An exhausting 15 minutes I tell you ! 

Sometimes I try to sneak back in by myself to get ready for the day.  This inevitably causes even more chaos.  It's no secret that my dogs don't like to stay outside if it's too hot, too cold, or raining.  Come to think of it, they'd rather be watching Nick Toons.  When I do go in alone, I have to tell them "go play" and then they start barking at each other and growling because they are mad at me but I'm high-tailing it in the back door so they have to get uptight with each other !  When they do come in with me, there are different scenarios that may take place.  If I'm taking a bath, I have to close the bathroom door.  Moose will lay there and when I finally open the door, he rushes in to drink the bath water as it drains....whatever !  After the water has drained, he generally proceeds to get into the tub and lay there while I do hair and makeup.  Marley is on the floor again, underfoot. 

Once I'm ready to leave the house it's cat and mouse time !  Marley readily goes out to play but Moose insists on being chased around the kitchen table and shoved out the door.  Not a pretty site.  He then gets on the patio chair (which has no cushions because Marley tore them all up) and looks in the window with the saddest of faces....he'd rather be on the sofa napping and watching cartoons !  I feel like a horrible mother making him stay out sometimes !  I've come to realize that I have made the dreadful mistake of making my dogs believe they are human !  But, I'd do it all again.  They offer unconditional love and a sense of security when I'm home alone.  What's a little morning chaos when there's so much love and slober around !  Muawwww Moose and Marley !